From medieval insult to 21st century kink, cuckolding- from the term “cuckold”- is one of the most ambiguous (no pun intended) and mysterious sexual fetishes a committed couple can engage in.
The term cuckold was often used as an insult by which to shame a husband of a known adulteress. This term often features in the works of William Shakespeare (a man himself partly known for having coined many a masterful insult) however the origin of the term cannot be attributed to Shakespeare. The etymology of the word is said, according to a quick Google search, the practice of the Cuckoo bird laying its eggs in other bird’s nests… I think you get the idea.
Things have changed and now the shame of having an adulterating wife has been replaced by some with secret yearning and taboo pleasure.
What is cuckolding?
What it isn’t is the run-of-the-mill swinging, if there is such a thing.
A lot of people make the mistake, as they so often do when it comes to subjects of a sexual nature and sexuality, of boxing things they don’t fully understand into more generally accepted paradigms.
Yes, to a degree, cuckolding appears similar to swinging however there are more rules and there is a very real sub context present, mentally and emotionally, which separates it as a practice of mere sex to something of a fetish.
When a man has a desire to see, witness and perhaps to partake in his wife engaging in sex or sexual acts with another man that is cuckolding.
When it comes to cuckolding the husband’s role is mostly voyeuristic and rarely does he engage in any sexual acts himself unless his wife permits; in many interactions the husband is often denied the pleasure of pleasuring himself while playing voyeur. But it isn’t so straight forward as role-playing.
The cuckold in the scenario is the player with the keen desire and interest who enjoys the thrill of a dominant wife and presumably the thrill of denied gratification and humiliation as well.
Not holding such a flame myself, it isn’t fair for me to guess at what leads or inspires a person to venture into the practice of cuckolding but one of the main elements of the practice which seems prevalent across-the-board is that the domineering role of the wife often encroaches into other and all elements of married life- outside the bedroom.
Therein lies the question of whether or not cuckolding is in fact something positive to engage in at a level where it leaves the boudoir.
It’s fair to say that in any relationship or marriage, equality and understanding reigns supreme and while it can be said that couples engaging in cuckolding have a very open relationship communication wise, the line between pleasure and pain is a fine one. Where one might find stimulation in domination and submission in one’s sex life, surely these things do not a healthy long-term marriage make?
Cuckolding at its most advanced levels is a circumstance where one’s (being’s the husband’s) initial pleasure becomes the other’s (being the wife’s) pleasure as well. Naturally such a prolonged exploration of domination and submission can cause its problems in a twenty-four seven relationship and therefore, while I would never attempt to prescribe what is or isn’t appropriate in another’s consensually based sex life, caution must be advised so as one stays attentive to the true needs of one’s partner in a cuckolding partnership.
It’s all fun and games and an exciting exploration of limits and taboos until all of a sudden it isn’t and somebody gets hurt.
Another risk run, especially if she is not one-hundred percent into the practice and finds she is participating in it for want of trying to sate her husband’s desire, is that of the wife falling for another man. Equally so if she realises the sexual freedom consented by her husband may as well not come with the strings of marriage. Of course jealously on part of the husband if he is not truly comfortable with the idea is another potential fissure.
One thing that had better be mentioned (as it should be in all discussions of sexual activity involving multiple partners) is simply that one should be mindful of the risks of STDs and to be careful to take the appropriate protection.
Should all these things be kept in check and if you’re both positive you’ve found the right partner to begin exploring cuckolding it can be a truly great way to transcend the norms and bores of traditional married life.
For the husband it can be a means to reflect greater on their own masculinity and whatever that may mean as well as to broaden one’s definition of gratification. For the wife, it stands to be a sexual revolution of the way wives are historically expected to please their husbands and of course at her whim, his involvement can be as little or as much as she desires. Meaning there are no rules to say she has to exclude him completely except of course the distance from her sexual dalliances which the husband is turned on or off by.
One of the positives of cuckolding is that while there are certain trends, there really are no rules and, like all marriages, each couple’s experience with cuckolding can be entirely unique.